Not Bitter

*

I don’t usually like to talk about stone tools that often, mainly because it’s not my interest area….and if we’re being honest, because I can’t make a decent flake to save my life. But its okay, I’m not bitter and twisted about it or anything. See, I’m even blogging about tools!

Recent excavations in Malaysia have uncovered STONE TOOLS! But not just any stones tools, no, these are stone axes**. Pretty cool right? It gets better!
It has been reported that the seven tools, found in Perak, have been dated by a lab in Tokyo to be 1.83 million years old! Well, 1.83ish – give or take about 610 000 years or so.

Relevance? If the dates are correct-ish, the tools are the oldest axes in the world. Yes, we do have stone tools occurring in Africa quite early on in the piece, but we haven’t seen axes until about 1.6ish million years old.

Basically, this is just reinforcement of the idea the archaeology in South East Asia is a pain in the proverbial ass. Wait! Don’t get all judgemental and disgruntled about it. I mean it in the nicest way possible. The archaeology of the region is extremely complex even in itself; things get far messier when we look at the bigger picture of the human story.

If tools are indicative of a cultural presence, then we have possible habitation of Malaysia by hominins 1.8MYA. The oldest remains found in the area connected to the tools were dated to 10 000 years. Is it simply a case of poor preservation preventing the recovery of a larger and unequivocally important part of the human story?

The study still needs to be looked at by other researchers, but if rocks get your socks off, keep watch on this one.

*Not one of the tools in question

**No, I can’t make axes either…..shut up.

The Secret is Out!

If you’ve ever been to Palermo, Italy….or alternatively, been lucky enough to attend a mummy congress, you may recognise Rosalia Lombardo. Rosalia was two when she died of influenza in 1920, but remains one of the best preserved human bodies.

A recent study has discovered “THE SECRET FORMULA” that preserved young Rosalia. Turns out it was your basic cocktail of formalin, zinc salts, alcohol, salicylic acid, and glycerin. The concoction in conjunction with the dry catacombs in which the body was entombed would have provided an ideal atmosphere for mummification.

But…why is she still…like…human looking? Well, unlike the mummies in Egypt, the Andes, Canary Islands etc. she’s only almost 90 years old. And the Glycerin component of her death cocktail would have kept her body from drying out too much and shrivelling like a sultana.

However, most of the credit for Rosalia’s amazing condition goes to ZINC. Experts say that:
"[Zinc] gave her rigidity… You could take her out of the casket prop her up, and she would stand by herself."

So there you go folks, that’s another mystery to cross off the list! Booyah!

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

I knew it wouldn’t be too long until another ‘Hobbit’ story broke into the news. So, what’s new?

‘…a researcher in the Department of Anatomical Sciences at Stony Brook
University, and colleagues conclude that the fossil, found in Indonesia in 2003
and known as the “Hobbit,” is not human…’

Right now, some people are yelling “WE TOLD YOU SO!” while others are…well, lets just say yelling a string of obscenities whilst upturning a dining table or throwing their laptops at a non suspecting postman. Why there would be a postman wandering within laptop throwing range at 8pm I do not know. Maybe he’s not really a postman at all!

Ahem.

Homo floresiensis, the Hobbit, was found on the island of Flores, Indonesia 2003. Initial investigations suggested that the minute stature, odd and somewhat archaic anatomical features was evidence of a new species. I was going to list the theories behind the affinity of the hobbit remains, but I’d be here all night, so I’ll list the popular ones:

• Modern species of Homo


• Modern species of Homo suffering from a condition known as Microcephaly


• Species that was a result of interbreeding between other hominin species


• Archaic Homo migrated from Africa into Asia


• Entirely new species of Homo with archaic features

3D analysis of the skull shows scaling consistent with island dwarfism, but not for an ancestor of modern humans. The research states that the shape of the neurocranium is most similar to archaic African Hominins. Thus supporting the new species hypothesis. If you don’t already have a subscription for the Journal of Human Evolution or even access to the online archive (shame on you!) then you can find more information right about….here!

I should also add that the response to my blog entry "whispers" has been overwhelming! Archaeological evidence from Flores is still being worked, so keep your ears to the ground but be prepared for a bit of a wait. I imagine that Peter Brown and his colleagues are trying to silence a few, if not all of the opposing theories, so an official publication may not be released for quite some time. In the meantime, I suggest investing in a t-shirt that says either “NEW SPECIES” or “DISEASED SPECIES” so we can keep track of which side everybody is on. Although….we may have a few problems, the “DISEASED SPECIES” t-shirt could be misinterpreted and negatively impact the possibility for those people to find a potential life mate.

The Nazca Lines: It wasn't me! I swear!

Just the other day I was sitting down, drinking soda water thinking “Hmmm, I haven’t had a rant about the Nazca lines in a while…I wonder if I could do that sometime soon…”

So when I read this:

Heavy rains damage Peru's Nazca lines




Oops.
I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t! I would never hurt an international archaeological icon, even if I was Indiana Jones or Lara Croft!

So after my initial freak out at the thought that I’d somehow used ‘the force’ or some form of equivalent mitochlorian based powers to damage a UNESCO World Heritage Site (listed in 1994), I decided to write a blog about it.

The Nazca Lines
In a nutshell, the Peruvian Nazca lines are enormous geoglyphs carefully and precisely engraved into the earth, preserved by the dry and windless climate. There are many theories behind the lines. Of course you have the main stream archaeological view that a pre-Incan population etched the lines by removing small rocks to form the great patterns that possibly depict religious icons.

On the other hand you have the E.T. viewpoint. That small men with oval-ish craniums and a epidermis of a green persuasion used their little silver saucer with and giant laser ray to carve funny markings in the earth to confuse the hell out of us humans (some people I know would love that cluster f—k).

And then we have the view that the lines are associated with magnetic fields, horoscopes and other “…mass cultural delusion[s] that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.”*
But each to their own I say.

Anyway, so after I talked myself out of the idea that I was in anyway connected to the recent damage done to the international icon I read that the damage was mostly minor and efforts are underway to restore the lines. It has also sparked fears that more damage may be on its way.
So buckle down chaps, we’re in for a bumpy ride!

*anyone who knows where I stole this quote, I present you with the highest form of kudos and friendship!

All the Colours...

Question.
Do you have a favorite colour?
I’m rather fond of green actually. But anthropologically speaking, people have always had a keen fascination with colours. This fascination is seen simply enough in the appearance of animals throughout history.According to a new study, if left to develop without human interference, animals would not have developed colours seen today. Experts say that:

“Nature abhors novelty, but humans like it. When early farmers came across a
different colour in an animal, it would have been a ‘wow’ reaction.

"Grapes naturally come in varieties of red but the first people to find a white grape
would have said, ‘That’s cool’.

“People replaced nature in terms of selective breeding and protected their different animals from the predators which would have eaten them.

“The Mesopotamians had different coloured farm animals 5,000 years ago, and in that regard they were no different to Paris Hilton, who loves pink chihuahuas.

“This study demonstrates that the human penchant for novelty stretches back thousands of years.

“There is a very long history of selection for crazy coat colours in animals and the evidence suggests that the love of novelty played a large role.”

This explains why Paris Hilton can dress a small dog in a blue sailor suit or a pink tutu and not be seriously accused of animal cruelty. On that note, I would also like to apologise to the Mesopotamians, then again, maybe they liked dressing small animals up like Disney characters, and maybe we just haven’t found the proof yet…

Anyway, the researchers suggest that the findings are best depicted by ‘white’ animals, such as tigers, horses, elephants, Moby Dick etc. who, throughout history have been represented in ritual manners and/or extensively protected.

AND! It totally explains that song! You know, the rainbow song!

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green…Orange and Purple and Blue
I can see a rainbow, see a rainbow, see a rainbow too…..

AND! It could potentially explain the folktale myths behind rainbows! Which is kind of upsetting because I was really hoping that when I get the chance to find the end of a rainbow a little leprechaun man will be there saying “fiddle de de potatoes, what would ye like for findin’ me?”
And I would say… “Hmm, I would like David Tennant wrapped with pink ribbon for my birthday”

Rose Hancock wants it but Apple don’t make it…What Am I?

Anyone?

No?

Ha Ha Ha! My genius prevails!


Okay, so what is not made by Apple and had Rose Hancock screaming “No! They’re mine, I dropped them! ALL MINE MUAHAHAHAHA!”*

Answer: NANODIAMONDS!

Get it?!

I thought that was quite witty….

No?

Fine. That’s just fine! Oh don’t worry, I’m not bitter and twisted about it or anything!

Ahem.

Anyway, I’m a bit behind the band wagon on this story, but I thought I’d have a bit of a rant on about it regardless. So Nanodiamonds, what the?

Okay well, way back in prehistory climatic oscillations occurred on earth, essentially there were intermittent periods of global warming and cooling. Just after the earth was exiting a major cold snap “something” happened [insert dramatic music here].

This “something” is said to have triggered a major refreeze of the global climate.
Archaeologists in America have found a layer of small crystallisations a.k.a. Nanodiamonds that date to the period in which global cooling started to occur.

It has been argued that these nanodiamonds support the theory that the earth was disrupted by “some sort of cosmic impact”.

“A swarm of meteorites or comet fragments…would have generated the elevated
temperatures and pressures needed to form diamonds.”

However, there are those who disagree – why? Stacking Faults!
Stacking faults occur in previously documented Nanodiamond samples, however these tiny details are not present in the recent finds. The diamonds also occur in carbon sphericals – such a context has never been documented. Given such facts, it can’t be positively concluded that the diamonds are evidence of cosmic impact.

I like this story because I have a feeling it is going to turn into one of those in depth archaeological clusterfucks which instigate fist fights at conferences. Ahhh, good times.


*okay, maybe good old Rosie wouldn’t say that exactly….maybe just the last bit.

A List for 2008

Where to start?!In my prolonged absence from on being unexceptional (sorry about that) archaeology has exploded! Okay, so not literally exploded, that would have been disastrous, but a lot of stuff has been happening.

So before we start the New Year with a big bang, a few streamers and a sleazy old man giving you a wink with a toothless grin, I thought it might not be a bad time to mention some of the most popular archaeological discoveries of 2008. The National Geographic web page has released their most popular stories for 2008.

At Number 10: The Inca O-R

In may, archaeologists found that Inca skull surgeons had developed highly sophisticated techniques for a surgical procedure similar to Trepanation. It was even said that by the 1400’s survival rates from the surgery were up to 90%, probably aided by the use of medicinal plants.

Number 9: The not so Lost City of Paititi

Ever heard of Paititi? Stone city, lots of golden statues…anything ringing a bell?No, not El Dorado, but it was similarly pursued by many of explorers and treasure hunters.

Paititi is believed to have been located somewhere east of the Andes Mountains
in the rain forest of southeastern Peru, southwestern Brazil, or northern
Bolivia

Despite the fact that no thoroughly conclusive studies have been presented, premature plans are already in place to make the place a tourist hot spot.

Number 8: A Mother’s Tomb

Good Old Teti, being the loving son and god-king built his mother Sesheshet a tomb to preserve her body for her journey into the afterlife. As he should have, given that Sesheshet’s nobility would probably have greatly aided his shot at the thrown. Quite a feat really, I mean, I think we can all remember the big shit fight that occurred at the end of the fifth dynasty! What a disaster.
Number 7: Stolen Goods? No, it was in the will I swear!

I imagine, as Alexander (a.k.a. the man of my dreams) lay in Babylon on his deathbed, the conversation with his half brother may have followed something along the lines of this:

Alexander: (mutters and murmurs something unintelligible)
Philip II: Hello brother dear (bounds into the room) I’ve just got a few
questions about the will.
Alexander: (continues to mutter, slipping into unconsciousness)
Philip II: Oh come now Alex, I’m trying to discuss something serious I need
you to brighten up a bit! Good god man! What are you wearing? Is that apricot?
Since when do you wear apricot.
Alexander: Phil…..
Philip II: Ah, yes, sorry, right, now regarding the army, I think it would
be best for me to take command.
Alexander: ah…
Philip II: Really?! I’m so glad you agree!
Alexander: but…
Philip II: Oho! Stop it Alex, this flatter will really make me blush oh ho
ho ho!
Alexander: Ph…argh
Philip II: Now that you mention it, you won’t really have much use for
those little ornaments and fancy shields and crowns will you? I mean, why have
it if you can’t flaunt it?
Alexander: garh….
Philip II: Wait! I know! You can give them to me! What a brilliant idea!
Well now that we’ve sorted that, I’d better be off. You know how it is, when
you’re popular, ah it is a hard existence. Toodle pip.

I apologise for that.

Number 6: Huapalcalco Pyramid

I think this discovery, if it is legitimate, is a testament to how much we still don’t know about past peoples, and how much there is still left for us to discover. The pyramid, located in the valley of Tulancingo and associated artefacts do not fit any of the known cultures in the area. Dating suggests that the culture may have been post-Teotihuacan, where several smaller states formed at the collapse of the empire, just before the beginning of the Tula/Toltec.

Number 5: Tomb of the “Excellent One”

You know you have it made in Ancient Egypt when you can afford a tomb at Luxor for your passage into the afterlife. Although, I imagine you may be a bit miffed to find out Hatshepsut’s general planted his necropolis directly over your own tomb, what a twat! Although quite rare, warrior tomb’s are found occasionally, presumably because they gained quite a bit of respect, honour and wealth dealing with civil wars and disruption, particularly at the end of each dynasty.

Number 4: Stonehenge was…wait for it…a Cemetery!

The history of Stonehenge is very complex and the debates are endless. Previous theories all agreed that the monument did have some connection to the dead, but disagreed as to when this occurred – some theories suggested that the monument in its early construction was associated with life and the living, while it was later dedicated to the dead. New analysis of human remains has led archaeologists to now believe that from the very outset, Stonehenge was built as a cemetery.

Number 3: Collapse of the Maya

Self induced drought and climatic oscillations is said to be the main cause behind the collapse of the empire. Research suggests that the Maya relied on seasonal wetlands to help feed a growing population. These places, likely decimated by climatic change, resulted in disastrous consequences. This is a very interesting topic, if you have the time; I definitely recommend you read into it. Furthermore, the research used to support this conclusion may also help contemporary populations tackle the depletion of resources and biodiversity on a local and global scale. GO TEAM!

Number 2: It Was NOT Aliens!

There are two theories concerning how the Ancient Egyptians built the pyramids:

1) Monuments built using external Ramp
2) Monuments build inside out via spiralling inclined tunnel.

A new room discovered inside Khufu’s tomb – that’s the big one, is said to support the second theory. Plans are in place for infrared imaging to take place to record subtle difference in interior materials and temperature, and by proxy reveal “phantoms” of the spiral tunnel. They just have to get a permission slip first. Please, Oh Please Mr. Hawass!

Number 1: Xibalba! I knew it!

This is one of my personal favourites for 2008. Archaeologists uncovered a complex of temples and pyramids within a cave system in Mexico, believed to be a physical construction of the Underworld! Pretty much everything is connected to life, death and sacrifice, which begs the question, what did they do here? Was it used a portal to the afterlife? Was it a sacred area, only seen by few? How often did they use this place? I’m so jealous of the guys who get to go and play in there right now. Fancy a hard working student? Drag me along and we can best friends for life I promise!

I don’t think the list is all that great, there have been plenty of very interesting discoveries that did not make the list. Like Otzi’s genetic heritage or the mummy with the hash stash. What do you guys think? What would make your own top 10 of 2008?

You know you're on holidays when...

When you find yourself sipping on pina coladas in the sunset on your back patio, watching the hounds harass the multitudes of paparazzi that are desperately clawing at the iron gates.
Yep, that’s when you know you’re in holiday mode (or “I don’t give a flying horsies bum” mode as I to like to call it).

But more blogging shall be on its way soon.

I should as mention that I’ve given birth to a new blog, in the metaphorical sense of giving birth of course. Imagine if you had a baby and it came out as a blog! What a mind trip!

“What is it doctor?” the curious nurse would ask
“OH MY OH GOLLY GOODNESS WINSTON! IT’S A BLOG BABY!”


Yes, I’ve had a coffee of three if you can’t tell. Anyway, the new blog is concentrated more on my personal life. And by that I mean that it is a satirical exploration of the Towers Family, in all its infinite weirdness.
I hope you all had a very merry/happy Christmas (depending on whether you speak English English or American English) and I wish you a very happy and prosperous New Year.

And may we all learn to appreciate the benefits of backpacks in the form of mysterious stuffed animals.