New Genus New Genus New Genus

Uh-oh-Spaghetti-oh!

Poor little Flo! New species, not a new species, now not a Homo?! Life can be so cruel. But rest assured, Flo won’t be lonely, she can hang out with Pluto in the “we are no longer what scientists first claimed us to be” club. It’s very exclusive.

That’s right folks, in an article that will be printed in the Journal of Human Evolution have suggested that Floresiensis should not be classified as homo as evidence could suggest that her ancestors may have exited Africa before the evolution of the Homo genus.

Do you hear that? Yes that would be the multi-regionalists clapping their hands and squealing “hah ha!” *

And then of course Brown would say “And I would have gotten away with it too! If it wasn’t for you Teuku Jacob! And your little dog too!”**

But in all seriousness now, Flo has come a long way, from a member of the homo genus, to a diseased individual, then a relative of the australopithecines and now arguably a whole new genus.

As Brown concisely stated:

"What will come from this is either the redefining of the genus Homo or the argument that this species has so many unique characteristics and so many features shared with australopithecines that it probably belongs in its own genus,"

But what have we learned from this? Nothing is ever simple, static or unchanging.

And that Scooby Doo is secretly a multi-regionalist mole determined to fight the Out of Africa Model till the very end.***

*You know I right about this one
**I took a little creative liberty here, but I’m sure it carries the same sentiment
***It’s always the innocent ones you have to look out for

Underworld of the Pharaohs - Found

Who said archaeologists couldn’t be like Indian Jones?!

British explorer Andrew Collins* has found the ‘lost underworld of the pharaohs’. Apparently in his Indiana-esque travels, Collins stumbled upon an ‘enormous system of caves, chambers and tunnels' that lay hidden beneath the Pyramids of Giza!

Collins said the caves contain untouched archaeology, but are swarming with bats and venomous spiders. He also suggests you stay the hell away from the light and any diamond shaped floor tiles, oh removing the gold idol is a BAD IDEA!

I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist! If only all archaeology was this much fun!

*he should so change his name to something cooler, like ‘Andrew Zaine Ignatius Timothy Lane Fox Collins’ – then he could say “yeah, whose got the best name now Pitt Rivers?!”**

**IMHO ‘Augustus Henry Lane Fox Pitt Rivers’ has the best name in archaeology/anthropology.

News From Flores

Just when you thought the debate was nearly dead…

Enter Cladistics Analysis!

A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from ANU have released a new study analysing the evolutionary linage of the controversial H. floresiensis, found on the Island of Flores in Indonesia 2003.

The results published in the journal of human evolution suggest that not only is H. floresiensis a new species, but also that the species does not share an immediate ancestor, diverging nearly two million years ago. Furthermore:

The fact that the H. floresiensis population on Flores is a very early species
suggests that hominins emerged from Africa much earlier than previously thought.

So if you thought you just felt the earth move, it was probably seismic activity, but also a major paradigm shift. So get your popcorn out and get comfortable everyone, this is going to be an interesting ride!

p.s. I know I’m a little behind in the news of this but I’ve been busy having a life and being awesome.

p.s.s. hahaha I joke! I’ve just been busy doing assignments and working…what an exciting life I do lead!

Back

Wow.

I’ve come to the conclusion that as a blogger, I really suck!

For serious!

You see, life has been a bit tumultuous (hence my lack of blogs/webwankery). But I’m back in the game now I think.

So, from now on there will be no more slacking off.

See you soon space cowboy!

xx

Sweet Sacrifice

In some Ancient Cultures, when times were tough, human sacrifices were made to appease the gods. So to hell with sitting around saving our pennies, all we need to do to escape the GFC is knock off a few millionaires/CEO/Media Moguls and all will be right in the world again.

Okay, maybe not. So you can all return the people you’ve kidnapped back to their families, no arguments!

Anyway, on the subject of sacrifice research in Peru has revealed a mass grave of 33 mummies from the site of Chotuna Huaca, recovered earlier this year. Reports suggest most of the mummified remains were wonderfully preserved, with even hair and teeth surviving.

While sacrifice was not an uncommon event in Andean pre-Hispanic civilisations, archaeologists and anthropologists are puzzled by the huge number of victims which appear to have been killed simultaneously, a phenomena not yet observed in the region.

Further puzzling is that the remains belong to young females, some being no more than nine years old. Preliminary theories suggest the victims were probably sacrificed to bring fertility to farmlands.

http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.greatarchaeology.com/news/wp-content/mummy-peru_big.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.greatarchaeology.com/news/archaeology/33-peru-mummies-victim-of-human-sacrifices/&usg=__TrByWrLBScjFWEPUtHfkHCPwGAg=&h=307&w=461&sz=36&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=N4PoCq3Wsy_AcM:&tbnh=85&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3D33%2Bmummies%2Bperu%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIK_enAU272AU272%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

The Sardonic Grin

A recent study has revealed the toxin behind the smiling death. Phoenician colonists on the Island of Sardinia created one big CF* for contemporary societies by creating some damn freaky smiles on faces of the dead, both enemies and friends.

What eluded scientists until now was how they did it.

Enter hungry Shepherd.

Let us call this shepherd Bob.

Pulling a double shift one overcast afternoon, Bob realises that he forgot his lunch. So poor and tired Bob, almost delirious with hunger, stumbled upon this:






Sniff.
Mmmmmmm, well it smells okay, thought Bob.
So, after brushing off excess dirt and pollen, Bob proceeded to scoff down the sweet smelling flowers and the juicy, juicy roots of the pretty swamp flower. And oh boy was it yummy!

A few hours later, Bob was found dead, with a grin on his face.

Now I personally think this would make a great story to tell your children to teach them not to eat just anything because you can DIE! Its like the Cry Wolf story really.

Anyway, Bob’s unintentional suicide lead scientists closer to the secret identity of the Sardonic herb.

And so, now we know NOT to eat the Hemlock Water-Dropwort, and that there will undoubtedly be a new cosmetic method in the fight against aging.

And you thought inserting botulism was bad! Take that wrinkles! Muahahahaha!





*CF=clusterfuck, but I'm trying to keep this blog PG

To whom it may concern,

Okay, so I know I said more blogging and I have been meaning to I’ve just been busy!
And I have proof! “A Method for the Quantified Analysis of Fragmented Faunal Remains and the Application of this Model to Body Size Classes” Yeah that’s right!
I give the seminar for this project tomorrow, so I intend to be back in the blogosphere by the end of the week.
Strap yourselves in!

The Peter Pan PNR

It was a cool night on the 11th of May this year when I came to the realisation that I'd spent my last day as a teenager cleaning fish tanks and writing a report on a statistical method to distinguish fragmented faunal bones.
It was quite depressing! If someone asks me what I did on my last day as a teenager, I wanted to be able to say something at least remotely cool! Like "I was kidnapped by the CIA and ordered to seduce an evil terrorist that looked like David Tennant."
But no, i cleaned fish tanks and wrote a report.
The second sad realisation came when I realised that I could now never live in Neverland as one of the lost children of no specific gender (look what political correctness has done to that fairytale).
So, on the 12th of May 2009, I turned 20.
I did have a request for birthday gifts this year: David Wenham/David Tennant/Josh Lucas wrapped in pink ribbon and a TARDIS. As yet, I haven't received any of those, but I figure there should be at least a two week grace period for shipping.
But anyway, happy birthday to me.
More blogging is on the way, so stay tuned!

Breaking the Silence

Hey everyone!

Just a quick one to let you know two more studies arguing that 'Flo' is a new species have been released. From memory i think the stories are published in the journal 'Nature'. I'll have to get back to you on that one anyway.

Ordinarily I would love to sit down and have a little rant about our dear friend Flo, but I've got to go to work, and then I have to finish my Advanced Research Project -_-.

Life just isn't fair.

P.S. K.RUDD! Where’s my stimulus package huh?!

I'm not [Dead]!

Heya Space Cowboys/Cowgirls!

Yes, I am alive!

I apologise for the lack of blogging rants, I’ve been otherwise preoccupied….

I wish I had an awesome excuse involving the economic downturn and espionage work for people who wear black suits and shoes that squeak… but unfortunately I’m boring.

The reason I’ve been quiet is because I’ve got my hands full of antelope bones! Wallaby and Kangaroo soon to join! Now if that’s not a party I don’t know what is….
It is a long story, but needless to say things have been a little hectic.

But there have been so many new and exciting things happening in archaeology that I’m truly regretting my absence from the blogosphere. Not because anyone actually reads this, but because now my brain is doing this thing where I try to write an essay only to ramble incoherently and then pursue weird tangents that end in…well, let’s just say it gets pretty messy.

Anyway, I’ll get back to the point. Here are some stories that I think you folks might be interested in.

Cleo and Ant, where art thou?! http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5gYKMmuL5ZHmbklSW5GCtfIYFtxeg

Anything you can do, I can do better
http://www.livescience.com/animals/090413-human-climbers.html

Just when you thought British archaeology had enough problems
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7992300.stm

Will your child be the first to join the x-men?!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/20090408/sc_mcclatchy/3208192

For the lit crowd…and all of you lovely people searing with art wank
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7931823.stm

More mummies than you can poke a stick at
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7879366.stm

Dinosaurs in Cambodia…FTW?! ….okay this one I just thought was funny
http://grinding.be/2009/04/09/cambodia-dinosaur-images-noticed-in-temple-ruin/

Spike = Keanu?? Eh?! - Some would argue that this isn't archaeological, i disagree. People will dig up dvds in the future and when they figure out how to recovery the images they will say "well, now we know why it was in the garbage!"

No, I'm sorry!

I shall wait until the movie surfaces until i pass judgement.

http://www.scificool.com/keanu-reeves-as-spike-in-cowboy-bebop-live-action-movie/

Okay, I seriously have to stop procrastinating! But I’m hoping that will keep you entertained until next Friday at least.

I promise to keep up my crazy talk. So those of you, YES YOU, who started to think I was dead, fear not! You may sleep well from this night on!

[Insert cricket buzz/hum here]

Do crickets buzz? Hum? Chirp? Whistle? Hum and whistle simultaneously?

Someone enlighten me.

Or better yet, record a cricket impersonation! That would be two kinds of awesome….slash weird.

LOST AND FOUND...AGAIN!

Remember that time when I lost the Temple of Jordania* and I started freaking out, searching high and low and in the middle only to find it stuffed down under the seat of the couch?

No?....Okay, just trying to create an analogy.
Here’s the story.

Once upon a time, in a mystical land of sand and spice, a young and handsome**
Swedish Egyptologist named Karl Piehl discovered a tomb.

On his hands and knees
Karl painstakingly removed grain after grain of sand using only a toothbrush and
a dustpan*** from an excavation site at the city of Luxor, to uncover beautiful
tomb.

Karl soon realised that it was not just any old tomb; no
he had found the tomb belonging to deputy seal bearer of Tuthmosis
III.

“WHOOPIE!” said Karl.****
But Karl was so excited about his discovery that whilst doing his victory dance he didn’t even notice the tomb sink beneath the golden sands, to be lost to all for over a century.

But fear not my beautiful people, the tomb has been rediscovered! Yes, a Belgium team has rediscovered the tomb and all is right again! Unfortunately, the inscriptions on the walls of the tomb have been damaged, leading archaeologists to believe that the tomb has been plundered, probably sometime during the early 19th century.

Now, I’d like to think that on occasion I do raise some kind of valid, if not quirky point about archaeology and the state of the world. With that in mind, I ask you, oh humble readers, HOW DO YOU LOSE A TOMB?!

Car keys, bobby pins and loose change I can understand, but a tomb?! That’s a pretty big target. Do I smell a conspiracy here?

Please enlighten me.

*Figment of my imagination.
**I don’t know if Karl was indeed young or handsome…well obviously he was young at one stage (or was he? [Insert dramatic music here]), but I don’t know about the handsome part. But I just thought I’d put in a good word.
***Probably used more than just a toothbrush and dustpan.
****Probably didn’t say this at all.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090301/science/science_egypt_tomb_1
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090301/sc_nm/us_archaeology_egypt_tomb;_ylt=AmYptKSqZBAdoUVnurApOnEhANEA

FOOTPRINTS

When I first read this story I tried to imagine who among my small group of close friends would be silly…I mean willing to demonstrate the hypothesised walking gait of Homo erectus (courtesy of the new footprint finds) in comparison to other hominids, chimps and modern humans.

I made the mistake of saying I would record this act, upload the footage on YouTube and place right here on this very blog…yeah, really kicked myself in the head there didn’t I? So needless to say, none of my friends opted for the experience, not even George. Next time I’ll just strategically place a few hidden cameras…yes, it is all very big brotheresque around here.

So, new footprints in Kenya! Yay!!!

Studies of the new finds suggest that the individuals who left them were morphologically very similar to modern humans. Standing approximately 5 foot 9 inches high, with a size 9 arched feet indicating better bipedal mobility, anthropologists believe that the prints, dated to 1.5MYA probably belonged to Homo erectus.

Researchers suggest that this provides further credit to claims that the evolution of the feet for bipedal purposes was an essential element to “becoming human” (and let’s not nit pick at that useless term either). So, yes, these are the earliest footprints in existence belonging to a species of the Homo genus (probably, anyway), but are by no means the earliest fossilised hominid footprints recovered from the fossil record. Laetoli still holds that crown, believed to have been left by Australopithecus afarensis, some 3.6 million years old.

What would you say?

At a recent gathering, a friend of mine brought to my attention a slightly morbid, but still fun website that I’d like to share.

“Dying Words” by Corsinet has recorded the last words of many famous people in history. I’m not sure as to how accurate the site is, but it is still really fun! And it makes you think “Hmm, what are my last words going to be?”

Well? What would you say?

Here are a few of my personal favourites:

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.~~ Humphrey
Bogart,
actor, d. January 14, 1957

I am still
alive! Stabbed to death by his own guards - (as reported by
Roman
historian Tacitus)~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

I've
never felt better.~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December
12,
1939

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.~~ Richard Feynman,
physicist, d.
1988

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward,
you are only going to
kill a man.
Facing his assassin,
Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.~~
Ernesto "Che" Guevara, d. October
9, 1967

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.~~ Walter De La
Mare, writer,
d. 1956

Go on, get out - last words are for fools
who haven't said
enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged
him to tell her his last words
so she could write them down for
posterity.~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary,
d. 1883

I
knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn
it - died in a hotel
room.~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27,
1953

Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.~~ Alexander Pope,
writer, d. May 30, 1744

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.~~ General John
Sedgwick,
Union Commander, d. 1864

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I
think that's the record . . .~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d.
1953

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.~~ Oscar
Wilde, writer, d.
November 30, 1900

For more of these little charmers, or to get some ideas for your own, you can find the site here.

6 and 26

Archaeologists in Egypt have found that a pyramid containing a mummy from the 6th dynasty also houses the remains of 30 other mummified individuals from the 26th dynasty.

The 2600 year old tomb, which the LAT suggests belonged to an individual named Sennedjem, is located inside the necropolis at Saqqara. A niche in the tomb holding 30 bodies has been described by Zahi Hawass as a “Mummy Warehouse”.

Eight of the individuals were incased in stone sarcophagi, while the rest where laid to rest in caches along the walls. Dating suggests that the remains in the “warehouse” are from the 26th dynasty – the last independent Egyptian rule before the Persian invasion.

Why?

The Ancient Egyptians were in many ways obsessed with death, even in life, one would be constantly thinking about the life after death and immortality. Why then, would you recycle a tomb?

The most probable answer is that rulers during the 26th dynasty could not recruit the manpower or muster the resources required to construct a funerary complex as extravagant as those from earlier periods.

Research is ongoing.

Not that I support the Barney Phenomenon but....

On of the biggest misconceptions about archaeology involves one of my favourite things – DINOSAURS! Screw raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Dinosaurs totally win, hands down!
That being said, when someone asks you what you do for a living and you say “well actually, I’m an archaeologist” the most common response after “wow!”, “good lord, why?” or “really?!” is “so, how many dinosaurs have you found?”
Or something along that sort of line anyway, then you do a little slightly annoyed laugh and clarify what it is that you actually do – play in shell middens, dig up stone tools, work in mass graves or what have you.

Anyway, I realise that what I’m about to do will provide further support for the ‘Barney Phenomena’, but I’m going to do it anyway…because I’m a rebel and I listen to rock music. Yeah, that’s right!

So, first of all TRICERATOPS!



If there was a rockstar among dinosaurs, then Triceratops would be it!

Isn’t it just the cutest little thing! They’re definitely one of my favourite dinosaurs.



Palaeontologists have a huge fascination with horned/ frilled dinosaurs. Theories behind the features stretched from comparisons with species still present on earth today. So essentially deer, elk, moose…and no, not the chocolate variety.

Some believe that the unusual features were used for display purposes, to attract a mate and such. Now don’t tell me you can’t see a male triceratops eyeing off a passing female with a smirk as he’d say “Heya babe! You ever seen one this big?”….wow, that took quite a sordid turn didn’t it, my most humble apologies.

Ahem.

Continuing along the analogy line, deer, elk and non-chocolate moose fight. Yes, they fight with their horns, probably trying to impress a female no doubt. Motivations aside, it has been theorised that perhaps the triceratops also used their horns for fighting, and that if that was so, could there be evidence of this left on fossil remains?

Research indicates yes. Sort of.

Palaeontologists suggest that although far from a definitive conclusion on the exact purpose of horns and frills, for the triceratops, it is likely that they may have been used for fighting. But why are they fighting? One must wonder:

"…if some specimens might have had significantly more injuries than
others, and if so, whether this might suggest that they were males?
Alternatively, if the incidence of injuries significantly increased at a certain
size, would this suggest the onset of sexual maturity and mate competition?"

It should be noted that the used for horns and frills on dinosaurs may have been different for every species. While evidence suggests that the triceratops may have used their horns for fighting, for other species like the Centrosaurs and Pachyrhinosaurs, it may be used as more of a sexual display. Randy little sex fiends!

Not Bitter

*

I don’t usually like to talk about stone tools that often, mainly because it’s not my interest area….and if we’re being honest, because I can’t make a decent flake to save my life. But its okay, I’m not bitter and twisted about it or anything. See, I’m even blogging about tools!

Recent excavations in Malaysia have uncovered STONE TOOLS! But not just any stones tools, no, these are stone axes**. Pretty cool right? It gets better!
It has been reported that the seven tools, found in Perak, have been dated by a lab in Tokyo to be 1.83 million years old! Well, 1.83ish – give or take about 610 000 years or so.

Relevance? If the dates are correct-ish, the tools are the oldest axes in the world. Yes, we do have stone tools occurring in Africa quite early on in the piece, but we haven’t seen axes until about 1.6ish million years old.

Basically, this is just reinforcement of the idea the archaeology in South East Asia is a pain in the proverbial ass. Wait! Don’t get all judgemental and disgruntled about it. I mean it in the nicest way possible. The archaeology of the region is extremely complex even in itself; things get far messier when we look at the bigger picture of the human story.

If tools are indicative of a cultural presence, then we have possible habitation of Malaysia by hominins 1.8MYA. The oldest remains found in the area connected to the tools were dated to 10 000 years. Is it simply a case of poor preservation preventing the recovery of a larger and unequivocally important part of the human story?

The study still needs to be looked at by other researchers, but if rocks get your socks off, keep watch on this one.

*Not one of the tools in question

**No, I can’t make axes either…..shut up.

The Secret is Out!

If you’ve ever been to Palermo, Italy….or alternatively, been lucky enough to attend a mummy congress, you may recognise Rosalia Lombardo. Rosalia was two when she died of influenza in 1920, but remains one of the best preserved human bodies.

A recent study has discovered “THE SECRET FORMULA” that preserved young Rosalia. Turns out it was your basic cocktail of formalin, zinc salts, alcohol, salicylic acid, and glycerin. The concoction in conjunction with the dry catacombs in which the body was entombed would have provided an ideal atmosphere for mummification.

But…why is she still…like…human looking? Well, unlike the mummies in Egypt, the Andes, Canary Islands etc. she’s only almost 90 years old. And the Glycerin component of her death cocktail would have kept her body from drying out too much and shrivelling like a sultana.

However, most of the credit for Rosalia’s amazing condition goes to ZINC. Experts say that:
"[Zinc] gave her rigidity… You could take her out of the casket prop her up, and she would stand by herself."

So there you go folks, that’s another mystery to cross off the list! Booyah!

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

I knew it wouldn’t be too long until another ‘Hobbit’ story broke into the news. So, what’s new?

‘…a researcher in the Department of Anatomical Sciences at Stony Brook
University, and colleagues conclude that the fossil, found in Indonesia in 2003
and known as the “Hobbit,” is not human…’

Right now, some people are yelling “WE TOLD YOU SO!” while others are…well, lets just say yelling a string of obscenities whilst upturning a dining table or throwing their laptops at a non suspecting postman. Why there would be a postman wandering within laptop throwing range at 8pm I do not know. Maybe he’s not really a postman at all!

Ahem.

Homo floresiensis, the Hobbit, was found on the island of Flores, Indonesia 2003. Initial investigations suggested that the minute stature, odd and somewhat archaic anatomical features was evidence of a new species. I was going to list the theories behind the affinity of the hobbit remains, but I’d be here all night, so I’ll list the popular ones:

• Modern species of Homo


• Modern species of Homo suffering from a condition known as Microcephaly


• Species that was a result of interbreeding between other hominin species


• Archaic Homo migrated from Africa into Asia


• Entirely new species of Homo with archaic features

3D analysis of the skull shows scaling consistent with island dwarfism, but not for an ancestor of modern humans. The research states that the shape of the neurocranium is most similar to archaic African Hominins. Thus supporting the new species hypothesis. If you don’t already have a subscription for the Journal of Human Evolution or even access to the online archive (shame on you!) then you can find more information right about….here!

I should also add that the response to my blog entry "whispers" has been overwhelming! Archaeological evidence from Flores is still being worked, so keep your ears to the ground but be prepared for a bit of a wait. I imagine that Peter Brown and his colleagues are trying to silence a few, if not all of the opposing theories, so an official publication may not be released for quite some time. In the meantime, I suggest investing in a t-shirt that says either “NEW SPECIES” or “DISEASED SPECIES” so we can keep track of which side everybody is on. Although….we may have a few problems, the “DISEASED SPECIES” t-shirt could be misinterpreted and negatively impact the possibility for those people to find a potential life mate.

The Nazca Lines: It wasn't me! I swear!

Just the other day I was sitting down, drinking soda water thinking “Hmmm, I haven’t had a rant about the Nazca lines in a while…I wonder if I could do that sometime soon…”

So when I read this:

Heavy rains damage Peru's Nazca lines




Oops.
I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t! I would never hurt an international archaeological icon, even if I was Indiana Jones or Lara Croft!

So after my initial freak out at the thought that I’d somehow used ‘the force’ or some form of equivalent mitochlorian based powers to damage a UNESCO World Heritage Site (listed in 1994), I decided to write a blog about it.

The Nazca Lines
In a nutshell, the Peruvian Nazca lines are enormous geoglyphs carefully and precisely engraved into the earth, preserved by the dry and windless climate. There are many theories behind the lines. Of course you have the main stream archaeological view that a pre-Incan population etched the lines by removing small rocks to form the great patterns that possibly depict religious icons.

On the other hand you have the E.T. viewpoint. That small men with oval-ish craniums and a epidermis of a green persuasion used their little silver saucer with and giant laser ray to carve funny markings in the earth to confuse the hell out of us humans (some people I know would love that cluster f—k).

And then we have the view that the lines are associated with magnetic fields, horoscopes and other “…mass cultural delusion[s] that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.”*
But each to their own I say.

Anyway, so after I talked myself out of the idea that I was in anyway connected to the recent damage done to the international icon I read that the damage was mostly minor and efforts are underway to restore the lines. It has also sparked fears that more damage may be on its way.
So buckle down chaps, we’re in for a bumpy ride!

*anyone who knows where I stole this quote, I present you with the highest form of kudos and friendship!

All the Colours...

Question.
Do you have a favorite colour?
I’m rather fond of green actually. But anthropologically speaking, people have always had a keen fascination with colours. This fascination is seen simply enough in the appearance of animals throughout history.According to a new study, if left to develop without human interference, animals would not have developed colours seen today. Experts say that:

“Nature abhors novelty, but humans like it. When early farmers came across a
different colour in an animal, it would have been a ‘wow’ reaction.

"Grapes naturally come in varieties of red but the first people to find a white grape
would have said, ‘That’s cool’.

“People replaced nature in terms of selective breeding and protected their different animals from the predators which would have eaten them.

“The Mesopotamians had different coloured farm animals 5,000 years ago, and in that regard they were no different to Paris Hilton, who loves pink chihuahuas.

“This study demonstrates that the human penchant for novelty stretches back thousands of years.

“There is a very long history of selection for crazy coat colours in animals and the evidence suggests that the love of novelty played a large role.”

This explains why Paris Hilton can dress a small dog in a blue sailor suit or a pink tutu and not be seriously accused of animal cruelty. On that note, I would also like to apologise to the Mesopotamians, then again, maybe they liked dressing small animals up like Disney characters, and maybe we just haven’t found the proof yet…

Anyway, the researchers suggest that the findings are best depicted by ‘white’ animals, such as tigers, horses, elephants, Moby Dick etc. who, throughout history have been represented in ritual manners and/or extensively protected.

AND! It totally explains that song! You know, the rainbow song!

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green…Orange and Purple and Blue
I can see a rainbow, see a rainbow, see a rainbow too…..

AND! It could potentially explain the folktale myths behind rainbows! Which is kind of upsetting because I was really hoping that when I get the chance to find the end of a rainbow a little leprechaun man will be there saying “fiddle de de potatoes, what would ye like for findin’ me?”
And I would say… “Hmm, I would like David Tennant wrapped with pink ribbon for my birthday”

Rose Hancock wants it but Apple don’t make it…What Am I?

Anyone?

No?

Ha Ha Ha! My genius prevails!


Okay, so what is not made by Apple and had Rose Hancock screaming “No! They’re mine, I dropped them! ALL MINE MUAHAHAHAHA!”*

Answer: NANODIAMONDS!

Get it?!

I thought that was quite witty….

No?

Fine. That’s just fine! Oh don’t worry, I’m not bitter and twisted about it or anything!

Ahem.

Anyway, I’m a bit behind the band wagon on this story, but I thought I’d have a bit of a rant on about it regardless. So Nanodiamonds, what the?

Okay well, way back in prehistory climatic oscillations occurred on earth, essentially there were intermittent periods of global warming and cooling. Just after the earth was exiting a major cold snap “something” happened [insert dramatic music here].

This “something” is said to have triggered a major refreeze of the global climate.
Archaeologists in America have found a layer of small crystallisations a.k.a. Nanodiamonds that date to the period in which global cooling started to occur.

It has been argued that these nanodiamonds support the theory that the earth was disrupted by “some sort of cosmic impact”.

“A swarm of meteorites or comet fragments…would have generated the elevated
temperatures and pressures needed to form diamonds.”

However, there are those who disagree – why? Stacking Faults!
Stacking faults occur in previously documented Nanodiamond samples, however these tiny details are not present in the recent finds. The diamonds also occur in carbon sphericals – such a context has never been documented. Given such facts, it can’t be positively concluded that the diamonds are evidence of cosmic impact.

I like this story because I have a feeling it is going to turn into one of those in depth archaeological clusterfucks which instigate fist fights at conferences. Ahhh, good times.


*okay, maybe good old Rosie wouldn’t say that exactly….maybe just the last bit.

A List for 2008

Where to start?!In my prolonged absence from on being unexceptional (sorry about that) archaeology has exploded! Okay, so not literally exploded, that would have been disastrous, but a lot of stuff has been happening.

So before we start the New Year with a big bang, a few streamers and a sleazy old man giving you a wink with a toothless grin, I thought it might not be a bad time to mention some of the most popular archaeological discoveries of 2008. The National Geographic web page has released their most popular stories for 2008.

At Number 10: The Inca O-R

In may, archaeologists found that Inca skull surgeons had developed highly sophisticated techniques for a surgical procedure similar to Trepanation. It was even said that by the 1400’s survival rates from the surgery were up to 90%, probably aided by the use of medicinal plants.

Number 9: The not so Lost City of Paititi

Ever heard of Paititi? Stone city, lots of golden statues…anything ringing a bell?No, not El Dorado, but it was similarly pursued by many of explorers and treasure hunters.

Paititi is believed to have been located somewhere east of the Andes Mountains
in the rain forest of southeastern Peru, southwestern Brazil, or northern
Bolivia

Despite the fact that no thoroughly conclusive studies have been presented, premature plans are already in place to make the place a tourist hot spot.

Number 8: A Mother’s Tomb

Good Old Teti, being the loving son and god-king built his mother Sesheshet a tomb to preserve her body for her journey into the afterlife. As he should have, given that Sesheshet’s nobility would probably have greatly aided his shot at the thrown. Quite a feat really, I mean, I think we can all remember the big shit fight that occurred at the end of the fifth dynasty! What a disaster.
Number 7: Stolen Goods? No, it was in the will I swear!

I imagine, as Alexander (a.k.a. the man of my dreams) lay in Babylon on his deathbed, the conversation with his half brother may have followed something along the lines of this:

Alexander: (mutters and murmurs something unintelligible)
Philip II: Hello brother dear (bounds into the room) I’ve just got a few
questions about the will.
Alexander: (continues to mutter, slipping into unconsciousness)
Philip II: Oh come now Alex, I’m trying to discuss something serious I need
you to brighten up a bit! Good god man! What are you wearing? Is that apricot?
Since when do you wear apricot.
Alexander: Phil…..
Philip II: Ah, yes, sorry, right, now regarding the army, I think it would
be best for me to take command.
Alexander: ah…
Philip II: Really?! I’m so glad you agree!
Alexander: but…
Philip II: Oho! Stop it Alex, this flatter will really make me blush oh ho
ho ho!
Alexander: Ph…argh
Philip II: Now that you mention it, you won’t really have much use for
those little ornaments and fancy shields and crowns will you? I mean, why have
it if you can’t flaunt it?
Alexander: garh….
Philip II: Wait! I know! You can give them to me! What a brilliant idea!
Well now that we’ve sorted that, I’d better be off. You know how it is, when
you’re popular, ah it is a hard existence. Toodle pip.

I apologise for that.

Number 6: Huapalcalco Pyramid

I think this discovery, if it is legitimate, is a testament to how much we still don’t know about past peoples, and how much there is still left for us to discover. The pyramid, located in the valley of Tulancingo and associated artefacts do not fit any of the known cultures in the area. Dating suggests that the culture may have been post-Teotihuacan, where several smaller states formed at the collapse of the empire, just before the beginning of the Tula/Toltec.

Number 5: Tomb of the “Excellent One”

You know you have it made in Ancient Egypt when you can afford a tomb at Luxor for your passage into the afterlife. Although, I imagine you may be a bit miffed to find out Hatshepsut’s general planted his necropolis directly over your own tomb, what a twat! Although quite rare, warrior tomb’s are found occasionally, presumably because they gained quite a bit of respect, honour and wealth dealing with civil wars and disruption, particularly at the end of each dynasty.

Number 4: Stonehenge was…wait for it…a Cemetery!

The history of Stonehenge is very complex and the debates are endless. Previous theories all agreed that the monument did have some connection to the dead, but disagreed as to when this occurred – some theories suggested that the monument in its early construction was associated with life and the living, while it was later dedicated to the dead. New analysis of human remains has led archaeologists to now believe that from the very outset, Stonehenge was built as a cemetery.

Number 3: Collapse of the Maya

Self induced drought and climatic oscillations is said to be the main cause behind the collapse of the empire. Research suggests that the Maya relied on seasonal wetlands to help feed a growing population. These places, likely decimated by climatic change, resulted in disastrous consequences. This is a very interesting topic, if you have the time; I definitely recommend you read into it. Furthermore, the research used to support this conclusion may also help contemporary populations tackle the depletion of resources and biodiversity on a local and global scale. GO TEAM!

Number 2: It Was NOT Aliens!

There are two theories concerning how the Ancient Egyptians built the pyramids:

1) Monuments built using external Ramp
2) Monuments build inside out via spiralling inclined tunnel.

A new room discovered inside Khufu’s tomb – that’s the big one, is said to support the second theory. Plans are in place for infrared imaging to take place to record subtle difference in interior materials and temperature, and by proxy reveal “phantoms” of the spiral tunnel. They just have to get a permission slip first. Please, Oh Please Mr. Hawass!

Number 1: Xibalba! I knew it!

This is one of my personal favourites for 2008. Archaeologists uncovered a complex of temples and pyramids within a cave system in Mexico, believed to be a physical construction of the Underworld! Pretty much everything is connected to life, death and sacrifice, which begs the question, what did they do here? Was it used a portal to the afterlife? Was it a sacred area, only seen by few? How often did they use this place? I’m so jealous of the guys who get to go and play in there right now. Fancy a hard working student? Drag me along and we can best friends for life I promise!

I don’t think the list is all that great, there have been plenty of very interesting discoveries that did not make the list. Like Otzi’s genetic heritage or the mummy with the hash stash. What do you guys think? What would make your own top 10 of 2008?

You know you're on holidays when...

When you find yourself sipping on pina coladas in the sunset on your back patio, watching the hounds harass the multitudes of paparazzi that are desperately clawing at the iron gates.
Yep, that’s when you know you’re in holiday mode (or “I don’t give a flying horsies bum” mode as I to like to call it).

But more blogging shall be on its way soon.

I should as mention that I’ve given birth to a new blog, in the metaphorical sense of giving birth of course. Imagine if you had a baby and it came out as a blog! What a mind trip!

“What is it doctor?” the curious nurse would ask
“OH MY OH GOLLY GOODNESS WINSTON! IT’S A BLOG BABY!”


Yes, I’ve had a coffee of three if you can’t tell. Anyway, the new blog is concentrated more on my personal life. And by that I mean that it is a satirical exploration of the Towers Family, in all its infinite weirdness.
I hope you all had a very merry/happy Christmas (depending on whether you speak English English or American English) and I wish you a very happy and prosperous New Year.

And may we all learn to appreciate the benefits of backpacks in the form of mysterious stuffed animals.